For students, April flowers bring no showers 04-11-08
April 30th, 2008By REBECCA LIN
STAFF WRITER
Springtime – shorter sleeves, longer days, and the return of the all-too-familiar scent of B.O.
Warmer sun leads to sweating, and sweating leads to stench.
We all have it; it’s undeniable. Some of us, however, are significantly less savvy at controlling it. Take, for instance, that guy… The one who walks from class to class marinating in his own man-funk, causing others to cower in fright. You might be thinking to yourself, “That couldn’t possibly be me.” No, it is.
You smell. Bad.
Everyone knows it, too. I know it, your mother knows it, and so does that guy that sits behind you during fifth period.
Fear not! Though many of your teachers and schoolyard chums are far too kind to try your ego, there are still people out there who are considerate enough to reveal the truth.
People like me.
Long, long ago, in 1941, Dr. Jules Montenier fashioned a most fascinating invention— deodorant. Appropriately named, his intended to be applied to the vertex where one’s arm meets his shoulder in order to prevent and eliminate unattractive odor.
Deodorant + armpit. It’s not rocket science. Yet some still seem to find the concept troubling.
All hope for society is not lost, however. There remains another solution to our over-fragrant tribulations.
Take a shower. Seriously. Just 10 minutes a day of “lather, rinse, repeat” can do wonders, and could quite possibly get you a prom date.
Ladies, this issue is not restricted to men, and this is why: perfume. That smelly lolly-water you bathe yourself in is not a substitute for actual bathing. Also, it’s called moderation. Less is more. It is called a spritz, not a submergence.
Thou shalt not cannonball into a bottle of flowery fragrance.
We’re teenagers! We fry enough of our brain cells as it is… We don’t need perfume to give us a second-hand high from three classrooms over. Do not contribute to our destruction.
Please, for the sake of everyone, exercise some personal hygiene. Let’s all combine our efforts in order to create a less funky smelling world.
After all, no one wants to be that guy.